He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
