whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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