Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
