Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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