and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize