this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
