Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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