this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
