She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
