My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
