I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
