I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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