my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
