I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
