We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
did you just send me my own nude
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
