Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize