By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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