8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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