one might say we're banned from that church
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
