i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
