If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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