So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
