i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
