omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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