I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
