my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
