This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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