No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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