Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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