Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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