from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Randomize
