He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Acid is not a monday night drug
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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