p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
