I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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