Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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