I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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