idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
