Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize