Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize