angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sext me about skeletons
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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