I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
