im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
