Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
