i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize