Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
