Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
