please come you make the beer taste better
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
