I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
