their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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