Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
