At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
