So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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