Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
