dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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