whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
