I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
