did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
