Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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