i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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