fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
MIDGETS
????
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
