Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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