Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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